Charlie and I have been talking the last couple of days about me becoming more assertive or vocal about things. By nature I am a somewhat passive person. Charlie jokes that she likes getting her way a lot (what girl wouldn't : ) . For the long term health of our marriage, when I disagree with something that she wants us to do or a decision that we have to make that I might need to say "no", or at least ask questions.
I know that there have been instances in the past two plus years where at the time I felt a twinge of "this doesn't sit right with me." in regards to certain things. Instead of disagreeing I ignored it because I wanted to avoid conflict. Growing up, there was a lot of conflict in my family and I grew to hate the toll that the constant conflicts took on our family. I vowed that when I got married I would not repeat this pattern. Well,, I haven't, but I have gone to the other extreme. I avoid conflict or disagreement to an extreme because from the eyes of a 7 year old child I see the toll that this can take on a family.
With Charlie's help however I have come to see that I need to find a happy medium for the long term health and strength of our marriage.Hebrews 12:15
“See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (TNIV). This verse from Hebrews talks about no "bitter root" grows up or gets in the way of a relationship. For some this might mean disagreeing less. For me it means not disagreeing just to do it, but to voice concerns I have about decisions and issues that Charlie and I face together. So to find the happy medium. Not to disagree just to be on a power trip and not to be to meek as to avoid conflict. I pray that the Lord will help and guide me in this endeavor so that our marriage will be that much stronger.
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