Choices

Today’s topic: choices.  I can choose to work my hardest at my job, or I can choose to do a half-baked job.  I can choose to honor and cherish my wife or I can choose just to focus on my needs and wants. 

Now the choices we face every day are not always this black and white. My stepfather Gordon Sauer was the first person in my life to point this out to me.  (At least point it out to the point where it stuck in my mind.)  In the past and to some degree in the present I have been a person who blames other people or events when things are not going the way that I would like.  I can choose to be happy today (even if it does not always turn out that way.) The mindset that I chose to go into an event with is entirely up to me.

For example, I tend to be a person who is very self-critical.  I will make a decision and then after the fact I will flagellate myself for doing it.  I can make a choice to be conscious and to change that behavior pattern.  Another example, instead of judging a person or making fun of them for something I can stop and try to place myself in their shoes.  I find that when I do this, I am a lot less likely to judge them.  I feel humbled at that point.

I can choose to exercise on any given day and eat foods that are good for me, or I can choose to skip exercising and eat junk.  More then anything right now I am working on letting go.  I have 35 years of ruminating on things so this is going to be a life long process.  Instead of counting every calorie and weighing myself daily, I can try my best to eat healthy and exercise, not count calories and weigh myself at most twice a week. 

When we choose to own things and work on them, we are holding ourselves accountable.  Accountable to God, to our spouses and family, but also holding myself accountable to me.  I can look in the mirror and say I did what I said I was going to do, and that sense of being honest and accountable feels good.  To do what you say, words mean nothing by themselves; it is the actions that accompany these words that speak volumes about where our hearts and true intentions lie.

Big Ten 2013 Predictions

My predicted 2013 Big Ten Standings:

Legends Division

Michigan 7-1 (10-2)

Nebraska 7-1 (10-2)

Northwestern 5-3 (9-3)

Michigan St 5-3 (8-4)

Minnesota 3-5 (7-5)

Iowa 1-7 (4-8)

Leaders Division

Ohio St. 7-1 (11-1)

Wisconsin 7-1 (9-3)

Indiana 3-5 (7-5)

Penn.St 2-6 (6-6)

Purdue 1-7 (3-9)

Illinois 0-8 (2-10)

Notes:  Michigan loses to Notre Dame and Northwestern.  Nebraska loses to UCLA and Michigan.  Ohio State loses to Michigan at the end of the season.  Wisconsin loses to Ohio.

Big Ten Championship game:  Ohio State over Michigan

Assertiveness: Walking into the wind

Charlie and I have been talking the last couple of days about me becoming more assertive or vocal about things.  By nature I am a somewhat passive person.  Charlie jokes that she likes getting her way a lot (what girl wouldn't : )  . For the long term health of our marriage, when I disagree with something that she wants us to do or a decision that we have to make that I might need to say "no", or at least ask questions.

I know that there have been instances in the past two plus years where at the time I felt a twinge of "this doesn't sit right with me." in regards to certain things.  Instead of disagreeing I ignored it because I wanted to avoid conflict.  Growing up, there was a lot of conflict in my family and I grew to hate the toll that the constant conflicts took on our family.  I vowed that when I got married I would not repeat this pattern.  Well,, I haven't, but I have gone to the other extreme.  I avoid conflict or disagreement to an extreme because from the eyes of a 7 year old child I see the toll that this can take on a family.

With Charlie's help however I have come to see that I need to find a happy medium for the long term health and strength of our marriage.Hebrews 12:15
“See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (TNIV).  This verse from Hebrews talks about no "bitter root" grows up or gets in the way of a relationship.  For some this might mean disagreeing less.  For me it means not disagreeing just to do it, but to voice concerns I have about decisions and issues that Charlie and I face together.  So to find the happy medium.  Not to disagree just to be on a power trip and not to be to meek as to avoid conflict.  I pray that the Lord will help and guide me in this endeavor so that our marriage will be that much stronger.

My mission

   Originally,  I was planning to write about accountability, but I could never get what I wanted to say right in my mind.  So instead I am going to write about a topic that has been foremost on my mind.  That topic is, what is my mission in life, what do I want the over riding theme of my life to be?  My answer, is that I want to be an exceptional person.

   What do I mean by an exceptional person?  I want to be someone who lifts people up, encourages them and be a positive force in their life.  I want to also challenge people to be the best that they can be.  As a Christian there are two commandments that Jesus had for his disciples.  Love God with all of your heart, soul, strength, mind and body and also to love others as you love yourself.  I feel that by reflecting the love of Jesus in my life, and living by his example allows me to fulfill that potential.

   I would like to be seen by others as a warm, funny, caring, compassionate, intelligent and dynamic person.  I want to be someone who using my God given talents can help others find knowledge and ideas to help enrich them.  (This is why I am going for an MLIS degree starting this fall.)   1 Corinthians 1 26 Consider your own call, brothers and sisters: not many of you are wise by human standards, not many where powerful,, not many where of noble birth. 1 Corinthians 2 4-5 My speech and my proclamation were not with plausible words of wisdom, but with a demonstration of the Spirit and of power. So that your faith might rest not on human wisdom but on the power of God. (Scripture from the NIV Bible.)

   These verses from 1 Corinthians represent what I have been discussing here.  To help people be the best that they can be, not relying on human knowledge, but letting the glory and grace of God guide me to where I am meant to go.  Growing up I didn't get a lot of positive reinforcement, love and encouragement.  So I have decided to make it my mission in life, to give these things to those people in my life.  My wife, family, friends and someday my own children.  This is what I believe and exceptional Christian man, and husband does for his family and friends. This is how I plan on being "above average", by answering the call of the Lord, and to let him work His will through me with the Holy Spirit.

PS: I am also re framing my mission at work, to make the lives of others better, and to be an uplifting and positive force there as well.