Thought Record

     So, I am sitting here right now filling out a Thought Record.  It is a tool from the book Mind Over Mood, that my therapist recommend.  This book is a tool to help a person who wants to change the way they think.  The Thought Record is one of those tools.  The Thought Record has you write down a situation, what moods you are feeling as you have a thought/rumination, what "automatic" thoughts are in your head, identify the Hot Thought, evidence that supports the Hot Thought, evidence that does not support the Hot Thought, alternative/balanced thoughts, and re-rating the moods. 

   I haven't done this very often but I have found that when I have a thought that is really flying through my head filling one of these outs helps me what emotion is behind the thought and understand why I am feeling the way I do, and to figure out whether this thought is accurate or not.  This is a good way to start retraining my mind.

Proposed Big Ten Divisions

Word leaked out yesterday that the Big Ten has just about settled on how they are going to redo their divisions in 2014. 

East
Ohio State
Michigan
Michigan State
Penn State
Maryland
Rutgers
Indiana or Purdue

West
Nebraska
Wisconsin
Iowa
Illinois
Northwestern
Minnesota
Indiana or Purdue

Commentary:  I really like how these divisions look.  They preserve natural rivalries and with the exception of Indiana and Purdue eliminate the cross over rivalries.  I recommend that Indiana goes to the East and Purdue to the West.

Changing Filters

So I am sitting here right now staring at a weather forecast that shows very little let up in the cool and cloudy conditions of the last month and a half.  I find myself feeling frustrated, where is the warmth and sunshine?   When will I be able to enjoy warm weather and not be cold all the time? Then I take a deep breath and stop myself.  Why am I feeling upset?  Do I have any control over the weather?  The obvious answer is no I don't control it.  So the answer is to either accept it or do something about it.  And the ruminating in my head continues. 

I could just as easily turn to and focus the positive things that are happening in my life right now.  For instance, the fact that I got a raise last week, that I just got accepted to Grad School,and am volunteering at the Milwaukee County Historical Society, or that the first 4 + months of my marriage have brought me a lot of joy and happiness. But instead I find myself dwelling on the crappy weather.  So why am I doing this?  It is my mental filter, or what I chose to focus on.  So one of the things that I am working on is changing my mental filter.  To teach my brain to focus and dwell on the good and positive things and to let go of the negative ones.  I can't stop negative thoughts from forming, but I can choose to just look at them like a cloud and then let them go.

I will be honest, right now I find myself struggling with the filter change.  I find myself dwelling on some of the negative things.  I am determined not to allow myself to slip back into that mind set I had for many years, but right now I am really having to fight hard not to drift down that road.  Learned behaviors and thought patterns are so easy to slip into.  I find myself becoming frustrated that I am struggling.  I once again have to take a step back and say, Lord thank you for my struggles.  It is through these moments that he is testing me and helping me to grow. 

So in the middle of writing this entry, I went and ate lunch.  As I was eating something occurred to me.  In the past when I would feel frustrated and or angry about something I would either bottle up all my negative thoughts and feelings or just complain about things.  Neither one of these were a constructive way to cope with this.  So in this instance I decided to write a blog post and get my feelings out on (virtual) paper.  I feel a weight lifting from me.  So one way to change my filter is to constructively vent. 

I know that I should not be so hard on myself for struggling with change.  Especially at a point in my life when I am going to be starting school up again in the fall.  I need to take a deep breath and see where I have come from, and try to develop more patience and understanding with myself.  This isn't like changing an oil filter which takes maybe 5-10 minutes this filter was something that I have had tuned in the negative direction for the better part of the last twenty + years.  I have been trying to be more positive the past year and a half. I think I will just celebrate and enjoy that fact.

Healthy Chicken Strips

Yesterday, I decided to make something healthy with chicken.  We came up with a recipe for healthy chicken strips.  You use almond flour instead of white flour, and include ginger, garlic powder, salt and paprika for spices.  Roll the strips in the flour spice mixture and bake in the oven for 30 minutes.  Then enjoy!  Instead of using an egg mixture to coat the chicken just use olive oil.

Overcoming Ruminations and Negative Thoughts (February/March Edition)

    As most of the readers of my blog know, I am on a life long quest to better myself, learn and grow.  The past 3 to 4 weeks has presented me with a new challenge.  That challenge is not to allow the snow and fairly gloomy weather that we have had to affect my mood and actions.  What adds to the challenge is that like many people I suffer from a mild case of Seasonal Affective Disorder.  To help combat this. my lovely wife bought me a natural light lamp to help me.  I have found that this lamp has increased my alertness during the day and I feel that I have more energy.  It was very helpful in December and January. 

    In the month of February, however we received a lot of snow and cloudy days.  I could feel a case of cabin fever coming on.  Charlie and I embarked upon a 4 day trip to New Orleans.  We got to see the French Quarter, Bourbon Street, the Ninth Ward and the Superdome.  I had a great time and my case of cabin fever eased a lot.  The past few weeks though I allowed it to come back with a vengeance.  I allowed the weather to "steal" some of my joy.  Instead of finding ways to get outside and enjoy the weather, I allowed myself to sit inside and feel cooped up.  I could feel frustration setting in. 

    So, last night my wife and I decided to do something about it.  We went and bought a couple of sleds, found a good hill and went sledding.  Just being outside and doing something different and fun was like a shot of endorphins.  Even driving around an area that we had not been before and exploring was great.  The sense of adventure that I was feeling enabled me to relax and enjoy the moment.  I am so grateful to my lovely wife for being who she is and always pushing to try new and different things.

    Part of my improving myself and growing as a person is to not let things steal my joy or dictate how I feel about or react to something.  Much of this past month I have failed at that.  But I am going to look at this as part of a larger learning process.  God put me in this situation to test me and to see how emotionally I dealt with this.  I may have tripped myself up and lost my initiative.  But I have learned a lesson, if I am feeling a certain way and don't like it there are two things I can do.  Try to do something to change it, or failing that change my attitude and find the joy in a situation.  This time of the year it is just more of a challenge for me to stay optimistic.  But with the support and guidance of the Lord and my family and friends I know that I will continue to grow.