Turning negatives into positives

I found out two weeks ago that I did not get an internship that I had applied for with the UW-Milwaukee library.  I invested a lot of time and energy into applying for the position. I really got my hopes up that I would get the position.  When I found out that I did not get the job, my first reaction was very mild.  I reasoned that I did not have the experience that they were looking for.  Looking at it in a positive way, I gained some valuable experience in how to put together a resume from scratch.

Within a few days, however I felt melancholy.  Was it the setting in of winter?  The holiday season, nope it was that I had not gotten the internship.  Specifically, that I would not be able to leave my current job that I have held for 11 + years and begin a new chapter in my life.  I started to allow myself to think that I was “stuck.”  Instead of choosing to view this as a temporary setback, and try to seek new ways to challenge myself in my current position, I felt angry, and impatient.

Over the weekend, I found myself taking stock of where I am emotionally.  I realized that I have allowed myself to drift to far in the negative/pessitimisitc direction.  With that negative feeling, is also a feeling of powerlessness.  That is not an emotionally healthy place for me to be.  Therefore, I started reading one of the books that I had gotten for Christmas called Positive Dog.  I can feed the negative “dog” inside of myself or the “positive” one.  Well, for the past few weeks the negative one has gotten way to fat. 

I personally struggle with feeding myself positive stuff on a regular basis.  I will get something here or there, like a book or poem, or Scripture verse.  I have to remember what started me out on this new life journey that I started in 2011 two things; one I am in control of my thoughts and emotions, and two that I am a new person in Christ.  Every day is a new beginning if only I chose to view it that way.

So now, the challenge is for me to “stay” up.  Part of that is listing all the good things in my life right now: my relationship with Jesus, my marriage to an awesome woman who is helping me to become the best person that I am, a supportive family, a steady job that provides a livable wage, a great congregation to belong to, my wife’s growing faith, the Packers making the play offs, enjoying, thriving and succeeding in school, maintaining a healthy weight and lifestyle, being more conscious of what I am doing and why I do things, and reaching the realization that I am ready for the next challenge in my professional life.

The items that I could choose to view as negative, it being winter, still being at my current job, and not feeling intellectually stimulated I can view as good things if I chose to see them that way.  The feeling that I am ready to move on can serve as motivation to look harder for a new opportunity and it being winter I can use as an extra motivator to exercise and stay in shape.