This past weekend, I became aware of how silly and potentially harmful a negative thought pattern that I had was. I was able to take a step (or more) back and see it for what it is. This thought pattern doesn't represent reality. As I was talking with my pastor about this issue he said "you are worrying about a bunch of things that haven't even happened yet, and might never happen." I know that in some of my previous conversations with my parents and others about this topic they have told me this. That I was engaging in "stinking thinking", on some level I relaized this. However, this time it kind of sunk in.
Before now I wasn't able to take a step back and look at my negative ruminations objectivley. In this case I was able to do that and internally say "hey wait a minute that isn't right", just because I am afraid that this might or is happening that doesn't mean that it is or will. For me this is big. Since my teens I have been a pesimmist where negative thought paterns are well established. To be able to get a bit of distance and to look at this more rationally and objectivley. So I am very happy about this. There are some big changes going on in my life right now (ie going back to school), so I am prone to more anxiety then usual, but I must be making signifigant progress if I was able to break out of this patern long enough to see the flaw in my thought patterns. I thank God and my family for working with me.
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